Wednesday, 27 June 2012

But... You're Married? Why Are You Going Alone?

Yep, I'm married (happily thanks very much) and I have a lovely little rock on my finger to prove it. The last time I checked, this wasn't the fifties (or something similar) and women were allowed to go off and do stuff on their own...

I'm off to Kenya next week (hopefully, I'm on a standby flight) and without fail every single person I've told has asked the question 'Is Josh going too?'.

Hey Josh! Watcha doin'?

Now, I KNOW I'm completely irrational a bit uptight about some things, but it's hugely important for me to retain a sense of self - whatever the heck that means, I know what I'm trying to say. I never really thought of myself as independent - until I got married. I KNOW, I'M WEIRD. All of a sudden it was really important for me not to be 'a stereotypical wife' in the traditional sense and I'm really trying not to sound like a bitch here. I adore being married, but it's not the sum of my parts.

Honestly, I thought I'd punch the next person who asked me 'So, how's married life?'

I think because it just seemed such a LAZY question. I'm sure you don't really care about the answer, and the answer is that IT'S NO DIFFERENT SHITHEAD. What on EARTH would you like me to answer that question with?! I got married over a year ago, so the question has now expired, and guess what question comes next? Babies. Yeah, get in line for a punch.

What I'm trying to say is that just because I've walked down the aisle with the boy, that's not the end of the road for Katie on her own. Just because we're married doesn't mean we're joined at the hip at all times. PLEASE don't get me wrong, I love my husband to bits (but I'm NEVER going to call him 'hubby' - bleurgh!)

I don't need him to validate me as a person and I think that's healthy. I love being with him, but I love being me too and having things that I'm interested in. I recognise that what makes us stronger isn't necessarily sharing everything. As long as we have fun together and are happy, what does it matter? When you live together, it's important to make an effort and for things not to go stale. I will not be part of those divorce statistics that both of our parents so heavily contributed to (thanks 'rents).

The main thing is, he can't take any holiday until September and I might burst if I have to wait that long to go away. So, I either burst or go alone. And I don't feel like bursting right now...

I figure absence/absinthe makes the heart grow fonder, plus he can watch all the football he wants AND he gets to live in a tidy house for a while (I'm really messy). Then I'll get back, we'll go back to a messy house and relative domestic bliss.

By the way, I have no idea why I've used so many brackets in this blog post tonight, I must be feeling brackety. Read into that what you will.

Yours happily in marriage but refusing to conform to tradition,

Katie x

1 comment:

  1. Very smug that I didn't ask if Josh is going too now (and don't apologise for the brackets, they're good punctuation) xx