10 Things that Annoy me in the Supermarket

There's something about supermarkets that fill me with undiluted rage. To the point that I've started shopping online, but even that makes me seethe. Here's my list, hold on to your trolleys... apologies in advance for the angry tone, old chap!

1. Trolleys abandoned in the car park. Why are you excluded from putting your trolley back in the bay Sir/Madam? And why do I end up getting that trolley who has a behaviour problem and decides to veer to the right with no warning?

2. The self service machines that shout at me every single time. I’m fairly intelligent and I get by most some days without banging in to things, but I can’t seem to get through a single transaction without having to call an assistant over…sorry I'm stupid.

3. People who think its ok to pick a steak or other meats up off the shelf and dump them…in the cereal aisle. Why?

4. Requesting cash back, then both assistant and myself forgetting all about it until after you have left the premises…robbing me blind, you SWINES.

5. Buying eggs and forgetting to check they aren’t cracked. Then getting home and finding they are cracked. Grrr.

6. Taking something to the checkout that you thought was on offer, but the offer ticket was either in the wrong place or you’ve made a mistake. Huge embarrassment as you pipe up and feel like a total cheapskate.

7. People idly chatting in the aisles and TOTALLY blocking where I need to get to, especially you old ladies, I'm looking at YOU. Why do you have to stand right there and get in my way on my lunch hour? I only get one hour, you have alllllll day. Go and have a chat over a drink in the cafe or a pub somewhere.

8. Shop assistants chatting to each other as they serve customers, by all means have a chat – on your lunch break! I'm telling your manager on the way out. If I don't come over all British and bottle it.

9. They’ll have Christmas cards in the seasonal aisle by next week…watch this space.

10. Asking if I need any help with my packing, when I have two items sat waiting on the conveyor belt. No, you ROBOT.

I'm a nice person honest! I'm a raging bull in the supermarket though, so apologies in advance if I ram in to you in a supermarket with my trolley...Happy shopping!