Sunday, 18 March 2012

How Can I Get my Mum on a Plane?

Ok folks. Help is needed.

My Mum is exactly 30 years older than me, I know this because she had me when she was thirty years old. This is always handy to remember around her birthday when I need to remember whether to buy her a generic 'yay happy birthday' card or a milestone card (would always advise those unsure to choose the generic option rather than a 'yay you're 50!' card when they're actually 49. Eeeesh, awkward.)

When I say exactly 30 years old than me, we don't share a birthday or anything, that would be uncool because I like to make a big splash about my birthday, usually having a week long celebration, and the petulant side of me would throw an almighty tantrum at sharing. Yep, I once had all my friends sent home from MY birthday party because someone else won at pass the parcel and I was sent up to my room as punishment. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

Oh look, I've digressed. Oopsie.

I was talking about the mothership, you can call her Jenny if you like, or Mofo as I like to call her. Hello Mofo:

Did you know I got married? I don't like to go on about it...

A fine specimen of a lady I'm sure you'll agree, I never got her legs, I got my Dad's legs. Thanks Dad!

My mum has never been on a plane in her life.

I'll just pause a while to let that sink in...





Now, I'm no Richard Branson flying off everywhere and anywhere but I've easily been on more than fifty flights and only almost thrown up due to turbulence on around 20... just joking Mum, flying is great!

I've flown to Honduras on my own with two connections, so that's six all by myself already (I was really grown up but I watched Pixar movies the whole way and got SO excited when the food came around)

I want my mum to go on a plane, but my mum suffers with claustrophobia (I don't THINK she'll mind me posting about this, should probably have checked first, especially seeing how it's Mother's Day today...) so the idea of being stuck in a flying metal can at stupid thousand feet altitude is enough to have her reaching for the paper bag.

She does want to cure this though and she does want to fly, even if she has her eyes shut the whole way and leaves fingermarks in the arm rest for eternity.

What do you recommend as the best course of action? Should she fly somewhere on her own or fly with someone? I suggested somewhere like Ireland so that she could always get the boat back, or Edinburgh perhaps?

If there's anyone out there in internet land who has any valid suggestions, let's hear them. You'd be making an old lady in her prime very happy. You'd be making me happy too so I could show her some cool places and go on holiday with her :)


  1. I'm glad that someone else has disgraced themselves on their birthday...At one of my parties we were playing the game where you look at objects and have to remember as many as you can. I wrote them all on my hand because I'm such a sore loser and it was my birthday after all. My parents however were far from impressed!

    As for getting your mum on a plane I agree you should go for a very short distance flight and I think that she should fly with someone. Maybe she should try to start overcoming her claustrophobia before actually getting on a plane though for example confining herself in a small space that she can actually get out of if she panics too much.

    Alex x

  2. Hey Alex! Thanks for the advice, she doesn't even like driving without having a window open, so this could be interesting :)

    Good for you with the birthday antics, as long as there's a present at stake, it's not cheating in my books!