Napenda Kenya!

Ahhhh Kenya, even the name of the country makes me smile! I’ve been to Kenya twice and can’t wait to return for more adventures! Every place I’ve been to  in Kenya sounds happy, and phonetically ends in an ‘oooh’ or ‘ahhhh’ or ‘eeeeee’ sound - Nakuru (oooh) Mombasa (aahhh) Lamu (oooh)Nairobi (eeeee), Kembu (you get the picture) Other countries and cities should take heed! Saying ‘Leeeeeeeeeeeeeds’ just isn’t the same…

I taught in a tiny school in Mombasa back in 2009 and just returned from another trip last September, but in the North of Kenya this time. Both trips were great fun, an eye opener and full of adventure with the friendliest people.

It might sound strange to others, but to me Kenya has a distinctive smell that instantly takes me back whenever I get a sniff of it elsewhere…it’s a hot smell of sunshine, charcoal, dust and a faint tinge of hot rubber along with something else that I can’t put my finger on. But I know that smell and I’d bottle it if I had the chance!

Teaching in Kenya holds so many memories for me… of children singing in their tiny classrooms, empty of resources and not a magic whiteboard in sight, children sitting at their wooden desks with their tiny backpacks still on their back because there’s nowhere to hang them up, eating their lunch in their classroom and shouting ‘thank you teacher’ as they run screaming out of the school building…sure their school is basic and made of mud, but they love school, love learning and can’t wait to come back tomorrow.

Travelling around Kenya holds so many memories for me…of being crammed in to a matatu van with 20 other people of varying background and ages, all staring at me with my huge backpack on my lap and wafting a novelty LED fan as if my life depended on it, African music blaring, horn bleeping and me squeezing my eyes shut to avoid the crazy scenes of traffic in front me! But being happy and content and not missing England a tiny bit – who really needs traffic lights anyway?

Eating and drinking in Kenya holds so many memories for me…of eating a kilo of goat and posho (all filler, no killer) with my hands, washing them in a tub of water after eating and washing it down with a bottle of Tusker beer. Lovely. Being on a bus and having men sell sticks of unidentified meat through the window... Not so lovely but still worth a try!

Kenyan sunsets, safari parks, delicious food, amazing beer, happy people, bright colours, tiny shops, loud music, cheery children, community spirit - a few of the reasons why I love Kenya and would recommend it to anyone.

I Love Edinburgh and here's why...

Heading up to Edinburgh this weekend. Yep. I've a special place in my heart for Edinburgh, right next to Galaxy chocolate, Bryan Adams and TV shows filmed around police, airports and animal rescues.

Getting the train Saturday morning at 8am. Ouch. After a Friday night of drinking where I'll try my best to get to bed at a decent time. Double ouch.

The weekend will most probably be spent drinking, eating, sleeping, strolling, Arthur's seating, drinking, scurrying down alleyways that lead to who knows where, drinking, dancing, eating, you know whatting, one o'clock gunning, shopping, tacky souvenir shopping, open top bussing...

Taken on a previous trip... that is my real hair. Got a problem with that?

...And generally being smug about having Monday off of work. Life is good in Edinburgh.

That's right, if you check your calendars, April 2nd is the first day of the new calendar year and I've booked it off. Good start to 2012's holiday allowance!

Note to self - must not hit Three Sisters Bar as hard as you did last year with your two sisters...

The next stop will be Nairobi... in 15 hours...

I love trains. After taking the train in Kenya, I want to be an ambassador for the Mombasa - Nairobi Railway!

When booking your travel around Kenya, you'll generally have the choice between air and rail, buses don't really exist other than in the form of matatus which are like minivans that hold around 12 people, but usually more! They go along a set route and you have to bang on the roof to stop them wherever you want to get off. Love it. Napenda Kenya. Dirt cheap but sweaty, great way to immerse yourself in to Kenyan life, very sweaty though. Repeat. Sweaty Betty.

The boy and I booked a one way air ticket to Mombasa, with the return flight to London from Nairobi. A little scary but it was something that I wanted to do to get off the beaten track a little. Anyone can book a return flight and that's absolutely fine if they want to do that, but it's not for me thank you very much. Taking the train instead of flying also saved me around £30 too, so happy days all around. More beer money.

So, intro over. After an amazing trip to Mombasa (highly recommend it to anyone) we headed to Mombasa railway station, a tiny rickety station with a bar (I don't remember much else apart from the bar for some reason, I think I pounced on that bar because it was so hot in Mombasa...) and by some miracle our train appeared on time, this almost never happens in Kenya.

We boarded the train and found our cabin. This is quite possibly the first time I'd ever travelled First Class and for £30 each we got a bunk bed room with a wardrobe (randomly) and a sink area. The door locked from the inside only and then there's a sliding door that connects with the cabin next door, so if there are 4 of you, you can all have a private connecting room - comprende amigos?

Cosy. Bagsie the bottom bunk!

Bedding, dinner and breakfast are included in your ticket price if you're going First Class (I can't help the capital letters, it seems only right to do so!) your bed is included in Second Class I think and Third Class you just get a standard seat.

Let me remind you at this point that the train journey takes 15 hours, so no one will think badly of you for going First Class, it's a bloody long way.

I'll also inform you that if you fly...it takes a mere 45 minutes :) and you get a snack box on the flight too. And peanuts I think! But you don't get to see Kenya on the ground... you do get to see Mount Kenya though - I don't really know what point I'm trying to make here. Do what I did and do both! Take a flight there and get the train back.

Anyhoo. Where were we? Oh yes, the train! I loved it!

We left Mombasa as it was getting dark and we got chatting to our train neighbours who were on their way to climb Mount Kenya and had been volunteering, just like us, so we had plenty to chat about.

Cheers!

All that talk made us thirsty though, so we headed down the carriage to the dining carriage, which was deliciously old school. Just like many other places I'd visited in Kenya, it reminded os something that was once great, but has now gone a little shabby, but I like it that way. If you leave a tip for the guard in the carriage, he'll watch your door as you can only lock it from the inside remember? Take your passports to dinner please!

Taking our seats in the plastic chairs as the train trundled along, we ordered a Tusker beer, man that beer is good. There were more cool kids like us who arrived for beers too, so pretty soon we were chatting away about our trips and having a good laugh as we drained our beers.

Dinner was served a while later and we had soup to start which was hilarious. I say that because the train was not only bumping up and down but left to right too, which meant you could just serve a puddle of soup in to the bowl without it spilling over the side, it was a race against time to eat it before it spilt!

Due to the amount of beers consumed, I can't even remember what else we had, but I remember laughing about it with a lot of fondness, I'd made the right decision not to fly back to Nairobi.

Later, one of the guards came to tell us that there was no more beer on the entire train, we'd drank it all. Ooopsie. Time for bed. As we slid off the plastic chairs, we had a game of 'my shorts are sweatier than yours' and we bade our goodnights.

I can't say I slept a lot on the train, the bumping doesn't really make for a good night's sleep, plus the train kept stopping and that would wake you up too, so don't expect the best night of sleep you've ever had...

Oh and by the way, treat yourself to an Immodium on the train as the toilet was a squat affair and you could see the track at the end of the pipe! Fun! Well hello there!

...Anyway, toilets aside, the best part of the journey was waking up as we went through Nairobi National Park and having giraffes running past your window! If only I had the Lion King theme tune!

Take the train if only for the chance to take a slow rickety, lovely train through a National Park, wonderful!

Cue crappy sunset/sunrise photo (Can't remember which it was)

Cue photo of train going around the bend!

15 hours later after some breakfast, we rocked up to Nairobi and for the rest of the day I still felt like I was on that train if I stood still even for a second... rocking all over the place. There was only one thing for it... a beer. Asante sana!

I'd really recommend doing a mixture of both flying and taking the train if you can. It might be cheaper to do it that way too, so just have a look if you're heading to Kenya anytime soon. I hope you choo choo choose the train. Oh God, sorry, that was so lame.

A price-per-wear theory so I can afford clothes and shoes? Yes please!

*Disclaimer* Boys, you are not going to be interested in this post in the slightest. Run along and play with your toys :)

I heart clothes, especially pretty clothes and ESPECIALLY clothes with a bird print motif! Oh yes!

Flipside? I don't have much money at my disposal for aforementioned pretty things. Hmmm. Quandry.

How does one get past this and still end up with pretty things AND a bank balance with enough cash for wine and everyday essentials, such as matching shoes and necklaces?

Allow me to share my (almost) foolproof system when shopping and your lives will change!

It's called the Price-Per-Wear system (capitals necessary)

(If I knew how to make that little copyright logo thingy then I'd be all over that. But I'm not)

Now, the Price-Per-Wear system will get you out of a lot of down in the dumps and chin holding, head to the side 'but can I afford it?' moments.

You find yourself in retail heaven, standing before the garment of your dreams of the moment. You love it, it is, without a doubt, the prettiest thing you've seen in the last few minutes.

But it's £30. OK, the extent of my wealth reveals that I find £30 a lot of money to spend on one item, but insert your own amount, whatever works for you!

Ask yourself this vital question: How many times am I actually going to wear this?

(This is the part you whip out your calculator if your maths is not so good)

If the dress is £30 and you think you'll only wear it three times... well that's £10 per wear. Excellent maths skills Katie, well thank you very much Katie.

If it's going to be an everyday wear, and you'll wear it at least ten times, price it at £3 per wear. Bargain.

See what I mean? Brilliant logic, that also helps your maths skills. Everyone's a winner.

The Price-Per-Wear system. Someone show me how to make the copyright sign and quick!



(Of course... this logic went straight out of the window the day I purchased my wedding dress...)

Stars and sun and shit...

I think I'm a bit geeky in some respects and I'm ok with that.

When it comes to TV shows, anything with amazing wildlife and sciencey things rock my world, providing they don't use too many words with lots of syllables and complicated diagrams. My feeling is that if Brian Cox was my science teacher, things would have been VERY exciting at school. As a 27 year old I have a somewhat crush on him, so I DREAD to think what I would have been like with a schoolgirl crush!

One of my top places I'd love to go and visit is somewhere that Brian told me about (through a TV show, not face to face sadly) and it's this giant desert solar calendar in Peru - fascinating!

But what really floats my boat is the subject of outer space. Yep, all space cadet jokes aside, space blows my mind and mainly for these reasons:

• Space goes on FOREVER. How does anyone know this?
• The moon controls the tide in our seas… the MOON!
• We are the only planet out there (to our knowledge) who have what we have, living life

There are so many more reasons, but those are my top 3 and I’m already feeling a little overwhelmed and I’m not even going to get on to the topic of alien life (although I do think I saw a UFO once but that’s a story for another day)

On a clear night, one of my favourite things to do is to gaze up at the stars. I just love it. I only know about five constellations but I’d like to know more. My favourite is the Plough, also known as the Big Dipper or the saucepan. It’s the easiest to find in my books, it’s not playing hard to get… ‘Here I Am! I’m the one that looks like a saucepan!’ that's my kind of astrology right there.



Can you see the plough in here? Photo by Mr. Empey

Allow me to share a moment in my life that stopped me in my tracks. Josh and I flew around 9 hours to Kenya, Mombasa and spent our first night of the trip in a cottage. We walked to the beach bar in the dark and I looked up to the clearest sky I’ve ever seen. It was like we might bump our head on the stars they were so clear and low, a true Lion King moment like when Mufasa appears at Simba’s lowest moment. Yep.

Right before the Lion King hallucination...

So I looked up and staring right back at me was not Mufasa, but the Plough. Even though I’d flown nine hours across the world, there it was, right above me just as it would be if I was in my back garden at home.

‘But I’ve flown for ages and it’s still straight above me’ I cried aloud, after a few beers. ‘That’s because the sky, and the world is pretty big’ my rational and more sober husband said.

The world has a way of making you feel pretty bloody insignificant sometimes doesn’t it? But it’s also a reminder that there’s so much to see out there.

It happened again in Honduras, I looked up and despite flying 19 hours around the world, there it was twinkling back at me.

I love space. It’s quite big.

How Can I Get my Mum on a Plane?

Ok folks. Help is needed.

My Mum is exactly 30 years older than me, I know this because she had me when she was thirty years old. This is always handy to remember around her birthday when I need to remember whether to buy her a generic 'yay happy birthday' card or a milestone card (would always advise those unsure to choose the generic option rather than a 'yay you're 50!' card when they're actually 49. Eeeesh, awkward.)

When I say exactly 30 years old than me, we don't share a birthday or anything, that would be uncool because I like to make a big splash about my birthday, usually having a week long celebration, and the petulant side of me would throw an almighty tantrum at sharing. Yep, I once had all my friends sent home from MY birthday party because someone else won at pass the parcel and I was sent up to my room as punishment. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

Oh look, I've digressed. Oopsie.

I was talking about the mothership, you can call her Jenny if you like, or Mofo as I like to call her. Hello Mofo:

Did you know I got married? I don't like to go on about it...

A fine specimen of a lady I'm sure you'll agree, I never got her legs, I got my Dad's legs. Thanks Dad!

My mum has never been on a plane in her life.

I'll just pause a while to let that sink in...

<pause>

Never?

<pause>

Never.

Now, I'm no Richard Branson flying off everywhere and anywhere but I've easily been on more than fifty flights and only almost thrown up due to turbulence on around 20... just joking Mum, flying is great!

I've flown to Honduras on my own with two connections, so that's six all by myself already (I was really grown up but I watched Pixar movies the whole way and got SO excited when the food came around)

I want my mum to go on a plane, but my mum suffers with claustrophobia (I don't THINK she'll mind me posting about this, should probably have checked first, especially seeing how it's Mother's Day today...) so the idea of being stuck in a flying metal can at stupid thousand feet altitude is enough to have her reaching for the paper bag.

She does want to cure this though and she does want to fly, even if she has her eyes shut the whole way and leaves fingermarks in the arm rest for eternity.

What do you recommend as the best course of action? Should she fly somewhere on her own or fly with someone? I suggested somewhere like Ireland so that she could always get the boat back, or Edinburgh perhaps?

If there's anyone out there in internet land who has any valid suggestions, let's hear them. You'd be making an old lady in her prime very happy. You'd be making me happy too so I could show her some cool places and go on holiday with her :)

Travel Begins At Home Too You Know...

I'll let you in on a secret. I'm not really a northerner... I'm from the Royal County of Berkshire don't you know? According to my darling brother, I'm the worst kind of traitor, because I abandoned the South and actually prefer living 'oop here in the North.

It's not that I don't like where I'm from, but I LOVE being in Yorkshire. You can be standing in Leeds city centre, surrounded by the rif-raff outside McDonald's, yet jump in your car and be in the Yorkshire Dales within 20 minutes (traffic permitting).

Being near to the outdoors soothes me, I love nothing better than slamming on my wellies and coat and heading out for a mammoth walk in the Dales, or along the canal near my house if I'm a little hungover... (most Saturday mornings, ahem, afternoons)

BUT I also appreciate my proximity to a decent watering hole, I like being out in the country, but not toooo far thank you very much, I still need red wine.

Some photos from aforementioned walks follow. I know what you're thinking and yes, I agree, there really is something about taking photos in sepia that makes trees look rather fetching. Hmmm, yes.



 Playing the shadow game, my legs will never be this long... sob.

 Swan lake.

 Dear dream house...*sigh* one day...

See what I mean? Sepia's just got it going on.