I love being married. A LOT of people ask you after the big event 'How is married life?' and I'm here to tell you that once you emerge, dazed and a little honeymoon tanned from the wedding bubble... the truth is... it really isn't any different to life before marriage. Sorry. That's not a bad thing though!
There is more of a connection between you for a few weeks/months due to the experience you've just shared (standing up in front of your friends and family saying your vows such a wonderfully bizarre romantic experience) but soon enough Real Life kicks in and before you know it you're heading out to work of a morning, cooking dinner, watching TV and you get used to wearing your second ring and people (me) kinda stop talking about WEDDING THIS WEDDING THAT in every sentence.
I now have the pleasure of three of my friends (including one of those as my little sister, Beth) getting wed within the next year or so and it's so great to watch them go through the build up, the prep, the STRESS, the excitement and anticipation. I know each of their weddings will be fab and totally different from each other and I can't WAIT.
I wanted to share a few tips and reassurances in the build up to your wedding:
* At some point, you WILL dislike your wedding dress. It's true! You go through all the rigmarole of choosing the perfect dress, finding it, buying it (ouch) and then.... nothing. It takes a few months to have it made and delivered and by that time you've only got memories of what it looked like (and that was a sample you tried on). When YOUR dress comes and you try it on, don't be surprised if it doesn't live up to what you remembered. After all, you paid so much for it and it seemed like the perfect dress for you a few months ago but it's more real now you've paid for it and only have this one dress. Remember WHY you loved it and try it on with a gorgeous necklace and shoes to bring back the love :)
* Hen do - it's ok to have a small one. I'm not sure where this idea has come from that you need to have a hen do with at least 30 people on and it needs to be abroad and it needs to be expensive, that's not what most nights out with your friends are like are they and you still have fun don't you? Why can't a hen do just be a night out? It has all this pressure on it to be amazing and the more you plan, the less fun it will be!
* Your husband-to-be will not be bothered, it doesn't mean he doesn't want to marry you :) I remember asking Josh at one point in the run up to our wedding, what colour napkins he wanted on the tables... the look on his face was 'basically, I couldn't give a shit babe'. I MAY have over reacted at the time thinking he didn't care about the wedding. The truth is, men DO want to get married, but they're just not bothered about the detail and you can actually learn something from their attitude. Don't lose sight of the important thing; it's about you two marrying, not about matching tableware together...
* Your wedding photographer IS worth the expense. My photographer (http://www.sarahjanesphotography.co.uk/) was amazing and completely worth the fee we paid. She even helped me put on my wedding dress which I so appreciated. A good wedding photographer will be a huge help, have loads of experience and add to the excitement of the day without making you feel you're missing most of it by standing in front of a camera. Some of the best shots she took were us all getting on with the day and enjoying ourselves!
*Your husband to be will probably go to a strip club on his stag do. It's so cliche and predictable, but it will probably happen and you might never know about it.
* It's not all about wedding photo albums. We just couldn't afford an album having returned from honeymoon a little bit broke, financially. In hindsight maybe we should have put money aside before we got married to pay for the album, but I'm not sure how much I'd sit and look at the album anyway. I had our favourite picture made into a big canvas and it's hanging on the wall of our bedroom. I see it every morning and I LOVE it. Other images are dotted around our house in frames and we're constantly reminded of our wedding day, I think I prefer it that way.
Do you have any tips to share?
