What to do in a weekend in Cologne

Guten tag!

I've been to Germany for the weekend and I loved it! Not only because I felt so bloody smug walking into the office on Monday morning and being able to say something interesting when asked what I'd done that weekend. It sure was a lot more interesting than saying I'd been sitting on my sofa watching old episodes of Airline and trying on old clothes I promised to donate to charity months ago but keep holding on to...

Where was I?

Oh yes. So if you're not familiar with the Skyscanner app here's one thing about it, it's bloody dangerous for your bank balance. You basically put in the airport nearest to you and ask it to find you the cheapest flights to ANYWHERE.

Turns out the cheapest flights from Leeds Bradford airport are to Dusseldorf in Germany. The Boy has never been so we booked those flights before the airline could change their mind with the prices (how annoying is it when that happens?)

Cue slight panic when we realised that there was a huge trade fair taking place in Dusseldorf which meant that we couldn't find a hotel room for less than £300 per night. Uh oh.

So we decided to take the train to Cologne and find an apartment there on Airbnb, my favourite website in the whole world. We found a great apartment right in the centre of town for around £45 per night I think. Bargain. Crisis averted.

 Hello Cologne!

More details will follow from the trip, but here's a few photos to show you around - come on!

So much fun and so much better than sitting on my sofa watching Airline all weekend...

Visiting Kilifi...

Last Sunday we took a road up the North Coast of Mombasa to Kilifi, I've wanted to go there for a while and our original plan was to head to Malindi which is even further up the coast, but we were hungover and didn't wake up early enough, so we settled for Kilifi which was fine by me...

We visited the ruins of a mosque...

We visited a 600 year old Baobab tree (I LOVE Boabab trees, they're HUGE!)

Then we visited a snake park and held a snake... not so much fun for me because when the man took it off my shoulders it tried to bite him, so if he had waited a second longer I would have punched a snake...

After we held the snake, the tour leader asked if we wanted to see them feed the snakes, I said yes as I thought the food would be dead... I MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN I WAS IN KENYA. The next thing I know, he's carrying this cute yellow baby chick over to the snake tank and it's chirping away happily and I suddenly feel SICK and walk away covering my ears. I do not have a single regret that I didn't stay to watch that chick getting eaten... VULTURES.

Next we headed to Kilifi boatyard for a seafood lunch:

After our fill of seafood, we hit the beach to sink into the sand for a lazy hour of sunbathing, swimming and idle chit-chat.

With wet shorts we climbed back into the car and decided to swing by a 5 star golf resort called Vipingo Ridge. This place is so posh it has its own airstrip that you can fly from Nairobi to in your own private jet, so it was really the perfect choice for us in our wet shorts and beach dresses with sandy flip flops... :)

We sat and had coffee, cocktails and a chocolate brownie for the princely sum of £25 while watching the sun set over the valley.

How was your Sunday?

Sun is shining... weather is sweet

Some photos from Kenya Land!

Much love from Kenya!

Things Kenya Has Taught Me...

Being here on my own in Kenya is great because I'm challenging myself daily and getting all independent at the grown up age of 28. All the things that are so easy for me back home are things I have to face here with gusto and creativity.

For example, if I need to wash my clothes, there's no washing machine, so things get hand washed (OK so I've decided to help the Kenyan economy by PAYING someone to hand wash it for me - is that so bad?).

I'm not much of a cook back home, the boy tends to do it all because he enjoys it more than me and it's a good way to avoid Crazy Katie coming out when she burns the rice and throws the pan through the kitchen window. So, when I was introduced to my new stove (I've called him Steve)...

Hi Stove! I'm probably going to kill you...

... I knew it probably wouldn't end well. Probably because I was told 'to light it, just hold the lit match against the gas tank and switch it on. SORRY, WHAT?!

Me and Steve the Stove are getting on ok, most nights I pick at stuff rather than having a full meat as it's just too damn hot to eat hot food.

So far I've learnt the following here:

* You can boil water in the microwave, I honestly didn't know this but I've found it a good way to get water when I'm in a mood with Steve and don't feel like torching myself.

* 'Make love' sounds an AWFUL lot like 'my club' in a Kenyan accent. Use your listening skills at all times, people but especially on a busy matatu when the guy asking you for a drink is drunk.

* I REALLY cannot dance. I mean, after a few tequilas, I think I can dance, but in reality, I cannot dance one tiny little bit compared to the women here. Might as well have more tequila then...

* Ants can find ANYTHING that you don't clean up. I am having to be the tidiest I've ever been in my apartment, that's probably a good thing

* Green bananas are plantains and are not sweet bananas. This is especially annoying when you think it's just an under-ripe yellow banana and persevere only to be rewarded with HORRIBLE HORRIBLE SAVOURY BANANA FAKER.

OH YEAH, IT'S REALLL FUNNY TO PUT THEM SO CLOSE TOGETHER!!!!

* Do NOT mention God in a conversation here unless you have a good few hours to listen to your opponent new friend express his views.

* Factor 40 is not strong enough, fetch the cement!

Conclusion: despite it all, I love it here.

An Italian Confession.

I've just got back from a long weekend in Italy. Yah. Sorrento, bless you.

For those of you uneducated berks, here is Sorrento in all it's glory:

 

 

 

Let me tell you something you probably don't know about me. Before my trip to Italy, I'd never once finished an entire pizza to myself. That's right, you heard me. Now back off!

Never. Not even when I'd had a skinful and thought that a £2.50 pizza from the local takeaway was a religion. My lack of ability to gorge consume always meant one good thing though...

Pizza for breakfast.

Let me tell you something that will now shock you to your very core now you know that about me...

In Italy, I ate two whole pizzas in one day.

Gulp. I know, I'm surprised you didn't hear about it on the news already.

Lunch

Dinner

Never has the rule, and it is a rule 'when in Rome' applied with more severity and seriousness.

If I may, your honour, I will just say that pizza in Italy is like no pizza I've ever had before. The dough is so much lighter, so it's devious because you don't feel that dodgy-stodgy-kill-me-now-hand-me-the-elasticated-waistband-trousers feeling with them. Those cheeky Italians know EXACTLY what they're doing when they knead that heavenly dough. I had serious cheese related nightmares that night, one that involved Danny from The Script chasing me. Dear God.

Plus, I was helping the local economy which I understand is in a right shitstate at the moment.

The moral of todays story? Go to Italy, eat pizza and you'll help the local economy.

Ciao!

What I'm Reaching For...

 

OK so the third one scares me the most... but a drunken pinky promise is still a pinky promise, right?

The next stop will be Nairobi... in 15 hours...

I love trains. After taking the train in Kenya, I want to be an ambassador for the Mombasa - Nairobi Railway!

When booking your travel around Kenya, you'll generally have the choice between air and rail, buses don't really exist other than in the form of matatus which are like minivans that hold around 12 people, but usually more! They go along a set route and you have to bang on the roof to stop them wherever you want to get off. Love it. Napenda Kenya. Dirt cheap but sweaty, great way to immerse yourself in to Kenyan life, very sweaty though. Repeat. Sweaty Betty.

The boy and I booked a one way air ticket to Mombasa, with the return flight to London from Nairobi. A little scary but it was something that I wanted to do to get off the beaten track a little. Anyone can book a return flight and that's absolutely fine if they want to do that, but it's not for me thank you very much. Taking the train instead of flying also saved me around £30 too, so happy days all around. More beer money.

So, intro over. After an amazing trip to Mombasa (highly recommend it to anyone) we headed to Mombasa railway station, a tiny rickety station with a bar (I don't remember much else apart from the bar for some reason, I think I pounced on that bar because it was so hot in Mombasa...) and by some miracle our train appeared on time, this almost never happens in Kenya.

We boarded the train and found our cabin. This is quite possibly the first time I'd ever travelled First Class and for £30 each we got a bunk bed room with a wardrobe (randomly) and a sink area. The door locked from the inside only and then there's a sliding door that connects with the cabin next door, so if there are 4 of you, you can all have a private connecting room - comprende amigos?

Cosy. Bagsie the bottom bunk!

Bedding, dinner and breakfast are included in your ticket price if you're going First Class (I can't help the capital letters, it seems only right to do so!) your bed is included in Second Class I think and Third Class you just get a standard seat.

Let me remind you at this point that the train journey takes 15 hours, so no one will think badly of you for going First Class, it's a bloody long way.

I'll also inform you that if you fly...it takes a mere 45 minutes :) and you get a snack box on the flight too. And peanuts I think! But you don't get to see Kenya on the ground... you do get to see Mount Kenya though - I don't really know what point I'm trying to make here. Do what I did and do both! Take a flight there and get the train back.

Anyhoo. Where were we? Oh yes, the train! I loved it!

We left Mombasa as it was getting dark and we got chatting to our train neighbours who were on their way to climb Mount Kenya and had been volunteering, just like us, so we had plenty to chat about.

Cheers!

All that talk made us thirsty though, so we headed down the carriage to the dining carriage, which was deliciously old school. Just like many other places I'd visited in Kenya, it reminded os something that was once great, but has now gone a little shabby, but I like it that way. If you leave a tip for the guard in the carriage, he'll watch your door as you can only lock it from the inside remember? Take your passports to dinner please!

Taking our seats in the plastic chairs as the train trundled along, we ordered a Tusker beer, man that beer is good. There were more cool kids like us who arrived for beers too, so pretty soon we were chatting away about our trips and having a good laugh as we drained our beers.

Dinner was served a while later and we had soup to start which was hilarious. I say that because the train was not only bumping up and down but left to right too, which meant you could just serve a puddle of soup in to the bowl without it spilling over the side, it was a race against time to eat it before it spilt!

Due to the amount of beers consumed, I can't even remember what else we had, but I remember laughing about it with a lot of fondness, I'd made the right decision not to fly back to Nairobi.

Later, one of the guards came to tell us that there was no more beer on the entire train, we'd drank it all. Ooopsie. Time for bed. As we slid off the plastic chairs, we had a game of 'my shorts are sweatier than yours' and we bade our goodnights.

I can't say I slept a lot on the train, the bumping doesn't really make for a good night's sleep, plus the train kept stopping and that would wake you up too, so don't expect the best night of sleep you've ever had...

Oh and by the way, treat yourself to an Immodium on the train as the toilet was a squat affair and you could see the track at the end of the pipe! Fun! Well hello there!

...Anyway, toilets aside, the best part of the journey was waking up as we went through Nairobi National Park and having giraffes running past your window! If only I had the Lion King theme tune!

Take the train if only for the chance to take a slow rickety, lovely train through a National Park, wonderful!

Cue crappy sunset/sunrise photo (Can't remember which it was)

Cue photo of train going around the bend!

15 hours later after some breakfast, we rocked up to Nairobi and for the rest of the day I still felt like I was on that train if I stood still even for a second... rocking all over the place. There was only one thing for it... a beer. Asante sana!

I'd really recommend doing a mixture of both flying and taking the train if you can. It might be cheaper to do it that way too, so just have a look if you're heading to Kenya anytime soon. I hope you choo choo choose the train. Oh God, sorry, that was so lame.

Stars and sun and shit...

I think I'm a bit geeky in some respects and I'm ok with that.

When it comes to TV shows, anything with amazing wildlife and sciencey things rock my world, providing they don't use too many words with lots of syllables and complicated diagrams. My feeling is that if Brian Cox was my science teacher, things would have been VERY exciting at school. As a 27 year old I have a somewhat crush on him, so I DREAD to think what I would have been like with a schoolgirl crush!

One of my top places I'd love to go and visit is somewhere that Brian told me about (through a TV show, not face to face sadly) and it's this giant desert solar calendar in Peru - fascinating!

But what really floats my boat is the subject of outer space. Yep, all space cadet jokes aside, space blows my mind and mainly for these reasons:

• Space goes on FOREVER. How does anyone know this?
• The moon controls the tide in our seas… the MOON!
• We are the only planet out there (to our knowledge) who have what we have, living life

There are so many more reasons, but those are my top 3 and I’m already feeling a little overwhelmed and I’m not even going to get on to the topic of alien life (although I do think I saw a UFO once but that’s a story for another day)

On a clear night, one of my favourite things to do is to gaze up at the stars. I just love it. I only know about five constellations but I’d like to know more. My favourite is the Plough, also known as the Big Dipper or the saucepan. It’s the easiest to find in my books, it’s not playing hard to get… ‘Here I Am! I’m the one that looks like a saucepan!’ that's my kind of astrology right there.



Can you see the plough in here? Photo by Mr. Empey

Allow me to share a moment in my life that stopped me in my tracks. Josh and I flew around 9 hours to Kenya, Mombasa and spent our first night of the trip in a cottage. We walked to the beach bar in the dark and I looked up to the clearest sky I’ve ever seen. It was like we might bump our head on the stars they were so clear and low, a true Lion King moment like when Mufasa appears at Simba’s lowest moment. Yep.

Right before the Lion King hallucination...

So I looked up and staring right back at me was not Mufasa, but the Plough. Even though I’d flown nine hours across the world, there it was, right above me just as it would be if I was in my back garden at home.

‘But I’ve flown for ages and it’s still straight above me’ I cried aloud, after a few beers. ‘That’s because the sky, and the world is pretty big’ my rational and more sober husband said.

The world has a way of making you feel pretty bloody insignificant sometimes doesn’t it? But it’s also a reminder that there’s so much to see out there.

It happened again in Honduras, I looked up and despite flying 19 hours around the world, there it was twinkling back at me.

I love space. It’s quite big.

Travel Begins At Home Too You Know...

I'll let you in on a secret. I'm not really a northerner... I'm from the Royal County of Berkshire don't you know? According to my darling brother, I'm the worst kind of traitor, because I abandoned the South and actually prefer living 'oop here in the North.

It's not that I don't like where I'm from, but I LOVE being in Yorkshire. You can be standing in Leeds city centre, surrounded by the rif-raff outside McDonald's, yet jump in your car and be in the Yorkshire Dales within 20 minutes (traffic permitting).

Being near to the outdoors soothes me, I love nothing better than slamming on my wellies and coat and heading out for a mammoth walk in the Dales, or along the canal near my house if I'm a little hungover... (most Saturday mornings, ahem, afternoons)

BUT I also appreciate my proximity to a decent watering hole, I like being out in the country, but not toooo far thank you very much, I still need red wine.

Some photos from aforementioned walks follow. I know what you're thinking and yes, I agree, there really is something about taking photos in sepia that makes trees look rather fetching. Hmmm, yes.



 Playing the shadow game, my legs will never be this long... sob.

 Swan lake.

 Dear dream house...*sigh* one day...

See what I mean? Sepia's just got it going on.